Using the Silence Wisely – Achieve your Dreams
The world is quiet.
Society is quiet.
Nature is quietly recuperating.
There’s a calm that has descended over the constant din of everyday life. It’s lovely. In fact, it’s beautiful to behold. While we are holding up at home I have been watching the stream of social media complaints rolling across my timeline. ‘I’m bored’, ‘I’m fed up’, ‘I want to go out’.
We all want to be free to enjoy the great outdoors once more but complaining about it won’t make the situation change, nor will it make it any easier for yourself or those around you. But we can’t help how we feel.. or can we?
I spoke recently about the bowl and the affect the rotten lemon had on the fruit inside. I asked you to imagine yourself as the bowl and the impact the media and those negative people around you (the lemon) had on your mind, body and soul (the fruit). Negativity is a disease that spreads quickly, but whats more concerning is that there are those who simply thrive off it. There are folk that seem to have an inexhaustible supply of criticism, gloom and foreboding, taking great pleasure in spreading their poisonous thoughts to others. Dominick de Gravina, a 14th cent. Italian historian summed it up beautifully in the latin phase ‘Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris’ – which translates as ‘to the unhappy it is a comfort to have had companions in their misery’. The challenge we have before us in these worrying times isn’t just to preoccupy ourselves for the next few months, but rather to work to reevaluate our situations and cleanse our bodies and minds. What I challenge you to do is to change your mindset. It is the singularly most powerful thing you have at your disposal. Your mindset dictates the day you have, your success in business, family, health and happiness. What’s more, it is 100% controlled by you. There are external factors that can impact on your mindset but it is you that decides how you react and the time you afford to the reaction.
I’ve seen countless images online highlighting the fact that the second we go into lockdown, the sun shines. ‘Oh sod’s law in place once more!’ Can you believe it?! It’s rained for months and now we can’t go outside, the sun is shining.’ Well, let me pivot this perspective for you.. how I see the situation is more like this: Mother Earth has well and truly sent us to our rooms. Lets consider ourselves grounded for the forseeable future. But, like the compassionate woman she is, she’s let us keep our TV privileges. We may be indoors but we’ve been thrown a crumb. ‘Here, at least have some sunshine to play in the garden while you’re grounded’.
You see the difference? One negative and one positive mindset.. and they breed others.
Lets talk about Silence.
The first things I did when the country started to close down wasn’t to bulk buy, but to buy books online. One in particular was ‘Silence’ by Erling kagge. If you haven’t yet read it, I urge you to. It cost me about a fiver on Amazon and came 2 days later. Kagge is a renowned explorer having reached all 3 of the Earths poles: the North, the South and Everest (both the North and South poles he did alone). I devoured his book in 2 days and have had a massive shift in perspective since. Kagge speaks of the importance of Silence and how the world’s secrets can be found within it. The book struck a chord because of the blanket of silence that has fallen over the world in recent days. The streets are empty, the National Parks, harbours and popular resorts are still. It’s almost eerie. His question is why we are so afraid of it.
Why do we fear the stillness that silence brings?
It would seem that in those moments of quiet, when we’ve filtered through the cacophony of thoughts and sounds, we are presented with a most horrible beast… ourselves. Many people shy away from the thought of having to look at themselves in the mirror, let alone face up to the individuals we are deep down. For whatever reason it might be, we are afraid to look too closely. Yet, this is exactly the place we need to begin. Silence is a luxury not afforded to many of us as we’re almost always sat in traffic, on our phones, watching TV, listening to music or working to the sound of the kids trying to throttle each other (I’m guessing yours are much the same as mine in this scenario). But, suddenly here it is. We have nothing to do. Imagine that?! Imagine if a few months ago I was to say to you that you can have 3 months of stillness. The family is together, the streets are quiet, the air is free of pollution. What would you have said? Would you have believed this was even possible? Would you (like me) have laughed at the prospect and run off a list of things you could accomplish IF you had that sort of time? This is a time to use carefully. I don’t need to give stark warnings or contribute to the worry and concern you feel – the media are doing a fine job of ensuring we never forget any of those things. What I will say is that this is a place to reevaluate. Use the world wide silence wisely. I’ve compiled a little list of the ways in which you can focus your mind and grow yourself as an individual. I can’t help you decide what it is you want to achieve, but perhaps I can point you in the right direction.
How to use the time we have
1. Firstly – and this is the most important part: Come to terms with the silence and understand that silence doesn’t equate to boredom.
2. Journal. I once heard a mentor speak about the importance of meditative writing. The biggest complaint about meditation seems to be that the lack of mental calm. That ‘chattering chimp’ as it’s often referred to, is a hard creature to silence. In this case, sit with some paper and a pen and close your eyes. As things come into your head – whatever they may be – write them down. Rough, scribbly and probably illegible, but write them nonetheless. Eventually you’ll run out of things to write or you’ll find the pace of intrusive thoughts has at least, slowed. You can go over the notes once you’ve finished. You may find something interesting that you should spend time working through. For most of us, it’s a chance to empty our heads of clutter. You’ll feel more organised for it.
3. You’ve spent the past few days cleaning every inch of your homes (probably several times over), it’s time to clean yourself. I don’t mean for you to run off to the shower, but more of a mental clean out. Cast your mind back to those negative people surrounding you and as Elsa says ‘Let it go’. Take a good look at your diet, your exercise routine, your health. Re evaluate what it is you should be doing. Instead of dwelling on the problems the current climate can cause for you, focus on creating a stronger and more durable you.
4. Make a MAP – a Massive Action Plan. Life coach Tony Robbins has created this idea to focus individuals on their ambitions. Here’s how you do a simplified version. At the centre of this bubble chart is YOU. Now draw about 5 branches (or as many as you need) and off each one write something that you want to achieve. That is your number 1. It can be a new job, an increased salary, take up a new hobby, do a new sport, spend more time with the family. Under each of the headings is your No 2: When do you want to achieve it? Finally, underneath that is your No3: WHY do I want this? What is the reason and motivation behind this.
Give it a go. See what you come up with and how that fits in with the rest of your family. When Erling Kagge had just finished sailing to West Africa, he was surprised by the amount of people who came up to him and said ‘Thats amazing, I’ve always wanted to do that. I WISH I could do that’. Kagge found this hugely confusing as to him, they couldn’t possibly want it that much or they would have already done it. The idea is a simple one. What do you want and how much do you want it. If you haven’t already achieved it and don’t allow yourself excuses, what is the reason? Kids, job, lifestyle etc are excuses. They should never be used to not achieve your goals and dreams. Imagine what you’re teaching your children.. ‘I never achieved my goals because I had kids’. So you gave up? You stopped dreaming and pushing for what it is you wanted. Would you ever willingly say that to your children? Would you ever urge them to give up on their dreams? No? Then why are you? If you want it enough, you’ll get it and whats more, you’ll be teaching your kids resilience, drive, motivation and the focus to achieve everything they’ve ever wanted.
The Roman philosopher Seneca said (some 2000 years ago) that ‘Life is very short for those who forget the past, neglect the present and fear the future’.
Use this time at home. Use it carefully and use it wisely. It’s a chance to emerge out of your cocoon a new and beautiful butterfly.
Rhiannon x
